Many people feel the pressure when it comes to keeping up with the Jones’. Trying to maintain the right house, drive the right car, wear the right clothes, own the latest mobile devices, enroll your kids in the best schools and even have a job title that outdoes your neighbor, is tiresome and in many instances, not possible. While it’s no secret that our inward soul is often compared with the outer reality of others, this level of comparing has an enormous, and often negative, effect of our self-confidence.

When you consider what self-confidence is, a feeling of personal capacity through your own channels of self-evaluation of opinions and beliefs, it’s easy to see how our environment can make us feel good or bad about ourselves, thus, influencing our self-confidence. We can be continually bombarded with self-judgment influences.

Our surroundings constantly tell us what general society deems better: thin women, a large house, high grades, a foreign car, muscle-buffed men, elevated work titles, not to mention smart kids and a perfectly manicured lawn. We are constantly judged in nearly every aspect of our lives. People who lack the tools to deal with this constant inference may find themselves feeling less than worthy and perhaps even intimidated by their own culture.

Constantly comparing ourselves with others will never improve our own self-image or self-esteem. But without comparisons, how can we determine whether we are self-confident enough or not? The only way to discover the true depths of our self-confidence is by diving deeply within ourselves and honestly assessing the opinions and beliefs we have about ourselves. You can’t hide from yourself, and no one else can step into your shoes to feel what you feel.

So how then, do you deal with rude or mean people? What about people who criticize your work or offer disdainful assessments of your appearance by their reactions? In reality, these external stimuli can do nothing to your self-confidence one way or another…until we choose to react. It is our reaction that determines whether an event or scenario will benefit or deplete our level of self-confidence. In truth, you are the only person who can allow your self-confidence to be affected by these external stimuli. When you realize that, you’ll take the wheel controlling your self-image and your destiny.

 

 

Article Author: Smiljan Mori is the founder of MindOver™ Network, Brilliant solutions for Performance, Motivation and Happiness. He is also the creator of Financial Independence Academy TM , the Kitepreneur NetworkTM and Kitepreneur Business Success AcademyTM. He has literally created a successful business and coaching empire from scratch and is a best-selling author and motivational speaker who brings unparalleled professional experience and the latest scientific research from neuroscience and positive psychology to audiences around the globe. He has shown more than 150,000 people from 50 countries how to change their lives for the better.

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Article References:
Motivaction For Life by Smiljan Mori
Psych Central: http://psychcentral.com/lib/blueprints-for-building-self-esteem/000293

Photo Source: courtesy of Stuart Miles / Free Digital Photos