So you and your partner are having an argument. Fighting is healthy if it’s done constructively. No relationship is perfect. It’s natural for people to disagree and fight. It’s a good idea for your relationship in general to agree that you can disagree when you are both calm and feeling happy, so you prepare ahead of time when things become heated. You have to accept each others right to their own opinion.

You both have to respect each other even if you are disagreeing or arguing. Remember that this is the person you love even if you are angry with them at that moment.  The first rule of fighting is to keep to the issue at hand. Do not bring up things that are not relevant to that particular dispute. For example if you are angry because your husband always leaves dirty dishes around than that’s the issue to address, not that he was out late the night before. That argument should have been settled already. When you keep bringing up the same argument over and over it means that the issue was never resolved to begin with. Resolve that issue once and for all let the guilty party say they are sorry and move on. If you continue to bring the same things up you will never move on from that issue. Also realize that neither you or your partner can change the past but you can change the course of the future.

Keep in mind when you are fuming at your partner, that they are not your enemy. You may not like them at the moment or their behavior but you love them anyway. It’s hard, but in order to fight fair it’s important to try and not attack your partner verbally. Instead of saying “You did this or You did that” it’s more effective to say “I am angry because of” or “I am hurt because”. In this way you are not attacking them personally you are addressing the issue that is creating the anger or hurt you feel. Start with yourself first and how the situation feels to you. This takes the person from the defensive mode to listening to your grievance.

It’s very important to feel comfortable enough with someone you are sharing your life with to speak up when something is bothering you. Actually holding back feelings creates more anger and resentment as opposed to expressing them as they occur. Its better to nip an issue in the butt before it becomes a real problem that is beyond resolving. After you fight agree to kiss and make up. This is your loved one hopefully for life so even if you fight the love should win in the end.

 

Article Author: Smiljan Mori is the founder of MindOver™ Network, Brilliant solutions for Performance, Motivation and Happiness. He is also the creator of Big U Academy, , the Kitepreneur NetworkTM and Kitepreneur Lifestyle Academy. He has literally created a successful business and coaching empire from scratch and is a best-selling author and motivational speaker who brings unparalleled professional experience and the latest scientific research from neuroscience and positive psychology to audiences around the globe. He has shown more than 150,000 people from 50 countries how to change their lives for the better.

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Article References:
Motivaction For Life by Smiljan Mori

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